so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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