HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
