So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
