Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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