Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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