just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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