people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
