Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
