It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
