Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
