why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
