Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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