I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize