blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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