Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
