I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
