Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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