Its about making memories worth repressing
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
