Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
