Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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