My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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