I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize