Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
