Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
