i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
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