I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
