the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
