I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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