Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
