Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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