Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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