And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize