i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
