Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
