And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
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