Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
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