So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
