I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
