you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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