The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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