a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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