I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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