and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
