it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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