I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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