every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Randomize
