how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
