roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
