I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
