just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
