we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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