ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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