Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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