I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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