I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
