please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
