please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
