He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Randomize
