the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
