Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
