im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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