**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
