I can tuck mytits in my pants
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
