I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
my poor anus
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
